New Beginnings............

Today was the first day of the new school year. Today, Rachel returned to Lincoln Avenue Academy for the third year...the THIRD year...seriously???? I can hardly believe she is now in second grade. She is growing up faster than my eyes can keep watch on her. It is so cliche sounding , but it really seems like just yesterday she was born! And now......woooooosh...... like through a time warp....it is second grade!!!!

I am so proud of her for all of the reasons I normally am...but TODAY....she took on a new role. Big sister at school to JT!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was giving him all the ins and outs to know about the school over their breakfast chat, followed by what he would find on the menu for the Kindergarten sendoff and finally by sweetly taking him by his hand and making sure he got to the car at dismissal. She loves him. She protects him. She looks out for him. She lived up to everything I ever believed she would do.......and then some!

JT first let his Kindergarten teacher know that "I actually like the name Joshua more than JT". This was told to her, despite the fact that just four short days ago at orientation, me, his mother, who has been calling him JT most of every day for the last five years, wrote on the index info. card that he LIKES to be called JT. I simply looked on smiling as I snapped another picture! CLICK!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it was off to the cafeteria for his special treat of juice and cinnamon rolls. My tears started flowing at this point. It wasn't like when we sat here with Rachel and I thought, "Well I still have my little one to go home with me." He IS my little one. My baby. SO very hard to believe all this time has passed.

Before I knew it, the doorway had been barricaded by the movable stairs, the sure sign that the students, who were now on stage, would be dismissed to their classrooms soon (see I learned this two years ago with Rachel!). I waved goodbye, blew a kiss and mouthed the words "love you".....having no idea if the look he had my way meant he actually saw me or was simply looking for me through the crowd.

Then that was it. He was gone. I looked at Gary. He looked at me. And all I had at that point was the one thing that has held me up for the last 18 years. I had Gary. I took his hand. We walked out of the cafeteria. And it all began again. We started yet another chapter of this life we have together.

Tonight, I am thankful for new beginnings. Yet, so happy as well to have the surroundings I am continued to be blessed with......love, understanding, faith and a very grateful heart for all of it.

FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear JT,

It is almost a month since you reached the milestone of turning 5!!!! I was not very efficient and am just now getting to write my letter to you! Tonight, you are five years and 24 days..........and it is also the eve of you going to Kindergarten!

You are the most amazing boy I know. You are intense, in every single way. You do not do anything halfway. That in itself is a positive force. You are a competitor, even against yourself, like in the Wii when you are playing both Mii's, one in each hand. If you do not beat your high score, you do it again, until you do beat it. Then when you beat it, you are ready to up it again.

You love with your whole heart, which by the way is HUGE! There are times when you are so mad, I think the whole neighborhood must hear you. But there are also the times, when you come to sit next to me and look up at me and simply say, "I love you". I do not get the "lots and lots and lots and lots" like I did about three years ago. But the look in your eyes is EXACTLY the same. The sweetness in your voice is just as sincere. And the love and joy I feel it just as strong. You melt me and little do you know, but at those moments you could ask me for anything, and you would have your wish granted. But you don't ask. You just fall into me and give me the hugs I love.

You are the lucky boy that gets to be Rachel's brother. I know, I know, somedays neither of you see it that way. But trust me, I can see it. I see the love and bond you have for each other. It makes me so incredibly happy because it is real and it will always be a part of your very close relationship. I envision that one day, even though you are the younger one, you will be her protector. You will be there for her in every way. I know it just as sure as I am sitting here typing this. She is such a blessed and lucky girl to have you. And rest assured, she will definately be there for you in every single way too.

So much happened this last year with you! You took off in riding a bike, you slept on the top bunk for the first time, you adjusted to mommy going back to work, you had your first sleepovers with friends, the list goes on and on. You had a very busy year!

One of the biggest things you did was that you went to PreK after being home with me for 4 years. And........ after just two and a half short months into it, yes that is how long it took, you finally decided one morning to not run to the back of the van and hide at drop off, to not ask me for the hundreth time to "pleeeeease just homeschool me", and to not test me by saying, " I can't go today, I am sick." (Yes, like I said you are intense.) It was on that day back in late October, you started climbing out of the van on your own, saying good morning to your teachers while not COMPLETELY hiding behind me and of course, my favorite part hugging and kissing me goodbye while saying a simple "see you soon mama".

Tomorrow, your daddy and I will be taking you to school for your very first day of Kindergarten. So hard to imagine. I have cried a lot of tears while off on my own this last week. Part of me has been looking forward to this day for you. But a big part of me has been dreading it! I know you will be amazing, as you always are. We may or may not have bumps like in the beginning months of PreK. But you will shine, no matter what. I think to myself, the best is yet to come. You are on your way to being more independent, more capable of so many things and more of figuring out a little bit about who you are JT! That is what growing up means. There is a lot of it ahead in the years to come for you. And you WILL get it all done, in your very own way on your own time. But until then, I will enjoy our son. Our five year old son who is right where he needs to be!!!!

I love you....infinity times infinity!!!!!! All is right with you by my side!!!

Happy Birthday sweet boy!!!!!! While it may be a little bit late on this blog, it was right on time in my heart!

Mama xoxoxoxo

Lasting Love..............

So it is definately past Valentine's Day now.....by a little more than a week. But since I was in a blog writing slump, that I just dragged myself out of within the last couple of days, I thought I would post this.

We awoke Valentine's Day morning to find a sweet to eat....and a sweet to read! Gary and I each had one of these on our own individual nightstand! Simple. Sweet. Loving. And put oh so quiet and gingerly without waking us. All done by the best two kids in the world.

I wish I could have been there seeing them come up with this idea. Seeing their excitement to surprise mommy and daddy. But instead, I will be happy with the surprise itself!

Our children can be a lot of things. Lots of the traditional things kids do. Then usually, at least once a day, sometimes more, they stop us in our tracks with their sweet ways. It may be something they say, a look they give us, a hug which always feels like pure love, or even something they make for us....like they did on Valentine's Day morning....on their own.

A lot of people think about love, especially on Valentine's Day. I am so glad we don't just have to think about it...we get to live it every single day with these utterly amazing blessings that God gave to us.

They are truly our neverending and lasting love that tops the list of our many blessings!!!!!!!!

These are the days................

........to remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A perfect Sunday afternoon with our kiddos! Some family Wii time, playing outside together, and finally (although no picture for it!) a family game of Chutes and Ladders before sitting down to dinner together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) We are so blessed!!!!!

Happy Birthday to my Anyway Friend.............

(Photo by Sarah Smylie)

Tonight, Gary and I sat together and finally got to catch up on some television shows we had taped from the week. One of my favorites is Private Practice. My hubby likes it too.....although I know he watches it for me more than himself. He is just like that. He does for me before himself.

I am spoiled....by Gary. My own family, first and foremost my mom, would be the first to insist on that. He has done this for me, to me, since we were literally kids. I am blessed...by God who gave Gary to me some 21 plus years ago.


So, today is my amazing husband's birthday. I have been blessed to spend 22 of these days with him on February 20th for so many years. It is on his birthday that I am somehow more aware of the blessing he is in my life.

We have grown up together. Literally. So much time and so many events have passed through our hands over these last two decades. I truly believe, with my whole heart he is the one person just for me. I truly believe that he is the biggest blessing in my life. And I truly believe through a series of events in each of our lives before we ever even met, some happy and some not so happy, it was all for one day our paths to cross and we would meet the person we were born to be with for always. He is my rock. He is my soft place to fall. He is the last thing I want to see before I fall asleep and the first thing I want to see when I wake up in the morning. And I can see myself wanting that for the next 100 years if it was at all possible.

I have always believed Gary to be my very best friend. But tonight, as something was said on that show I love, Private Practice, I realized he is so much more than my best friend. He is simply and importantly....my anyway friend.


Yes, my anyway friend is truly what he is and always has been. When I have screwed up, he was there letting my know how much he loves me. When I had something exciting I did or wanted to share, he was there to let me know how much he loves me. When I was scared, he was there to let me know how much he loves me. Basically, no matter what, he was and is always there to love me.

That is what your anyway friend is. It is the person in your life that is there for you no matter what has happened that day, that week, that month, that year or that decade! It doesn't matter what you tell that person. The person is always there for you. Regardless. There for you ......anyway!

Happy Birthday Gary!!!! I love you with my whole heart. Thank-you for being my husband. Thanks for being you. And thank-you for being not only my best friend in the entire world...but my anyway friend as well!!!!!!! xoxoxo

Thankful.......

Today we went to our volunteer time for the Disney's Give a Day, Get a Day program. For those that do not know about it, you give of your time as a volunteer, and in return are given a voucher to be turned in for a free ticket at Disney World or DisneyLand. So when we heard about this....it didn't take long to realize we were definitely going to participate.

The time that we ended up with was to spend time writing/drawing thank-you cards for the troops overseas. We also were able to help out with care packages for all of these AMAZING men and women both here and abroad who give of themselves everyday for all of us to enjoy the freedom and comforts we afford as we live in the USA while being protected and defended.

As I worked on my cards, I tried to come up with words to whoever would be reading it that would somehow convey that I really am thankful. Nothing I could come up with seemed good enough. How do you really thank someone for doing what our service men and women do?

It is overwhelming to sit and think about. So, I just tried to write from the heart and hope that when they read the cards all of us wrote, God will provide them with the knowledge to fully understand just how special they are. And how brave.

So tonight while I cannot avoid feeling thankful that we will be able to enjoy our day at Disney together. I will choose to focus on the much more important reason to be thankful, from the bottom of my heart. For all the men and women; in the past, present and future; that protect all of us..................

THANK-YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are truely heroes and totally amazing!!!!